Sweat and Tears

SUNDAY CONFESSIONAL

 

I have something to say about my run today. I’m not going to bore you with the details of finding proper running shoes or how cheeseburgers do not make good fuel for lead thighs. But today I tackled the hill. I surprised myself. I’m doing it! I’m actually doing something good for my body and getting stronger as I go. I looked at the top of the hill and realized only a month ago I would have been sitting on my butt instead. And then I just kept going up that hill. I felt stronger.  I felt inspired. I felt happy. I thought about my sister and her accomplishment of losing a lot of weight and becoming athletic. She was running, and it encouraged me to run. It felt good to be doing something for me, and even better as it dawned on me that I was doing this for my boys. For the people I love. And then I began sobbing.

Someone close to my family was diagnosed with lung cancer this week and my heart was breaking. I was angry and sad for obvious reasons. I could not help but cry out at the top of the hill, gasping for a breath; not because it was difficult to run, but because it was difficult to accept that the action of NOT running (eating well, drinking less, quitting smoking, wearing sunscreen, etc.) would certainly result in pain and suffering somewhere in the timeline of life. At the very moment I was finding strength do the right thing with this one fragile and resilient body I’ve been given, I was also fully aware of what happens when you choose not to do just that. Either right now, or later down that road of life, we all answer to the decisions we have made on how to handle the flesh and blood we inhabit.

What is your answer? How are you making that choice every day? Are you going to wait until it is too late? Today is the day. If you have time for television and Facebook and Xbox, then you have time to get up and make your heart pump that oxygen rich blood. You can put down the high fructose corn syrup drink and pour a glass of water instead. You can ask a doctor to help you quit smoking or find the right nutrition plan to lose weight. YOU CAN. It’s not easy, but taken in small steps anything can be accomplished, including the way you treat your body. I have a long way to go. I know I can make better choices even now. But I am taking the first step. Will you take the first step?

RESPECT YOUR BODY. RESPECT YOUR LIFE. RESPECT THIS ONE CHANCE TO DO IT RIGHT!

because I can only handle so much sweat and tears on my own, you have to do the rest....

Slice of Life

This is Happy Hour Friday & Ten Before the Tenth!

Not every Friday is as happy as a Friday should be. Last Friday I wanted to post my Happy Hour summary of a good week, but I wasn’t feeling it. It was a pretty crappy day. Which is exactly why I should have put my “world is crashing in” attitude away and face the hard facts: Life is good, even when it’s not.

Let me rephrase that: Life is good, even when you think it’s not. The key is all in how you think. A lot has been written on happiness and how to find it. Jesus and Buddha and Plato and Mr. Rogers all had something to say. I’m still looking into all my options. But I do know one thing, when you focus on the positive it sure helps lighten your load. That is why I am working on a weekly post that celebrates both the joy that Friday’s release brings and the ability to look at all the little things that made the week at hand the best week I ever had…each and every week.

And because this is the first of the month, I am also soliciting participation in both my endeavor to write more on my blog and to push myself to create more original art. So, I am once again promoting my TEN BEFORE THE TENTH challenge. It’s Happy Hour, grab a drink and a pen and paper and chill with me for a minute! I am looking for ten things that made this YOUR best week ever. I know you love your family and you are thankful to have your home, church, job, health, etc. I am asking you to look past the obvious and find TEN specific things that happened or somehow affected you in a way that re-affirmed for you that life is good.  Let me go first:

1.       I ate a crisp cucumber from the garden I have growing in my front yard.

2.       I discovered lino cut art, and the ability to make any image I design into a one of a kind stamp.

3.       My youngest can’t properly say “hot lava.” Instead he says “hot mama.” Naturally I have been asking him to say it as often as possible!

4.       I went running today and when I got to the end of three miles, I just wanted to keep going!

5.       The sound of Legos is a beautiful sound. It means all the boys (dad included) are playing together for hours.

6.       Dinner at the dining room table sitting across from my husband and next to my boys after a long day is my favorite place to eat after working hard to make a great meal.

7.       My oldest at 12 (going on 20) still likes to give lots of hugs and kisses.

8.       After finding “To Kill a Mocking Bird” by Harper Lee at the second hand store for .50 I realizing there is a reason it is one of America’s best novels. What a treasure.

9.       Facebook connects me with my friends and family like I never thought it could and I have come to realize that without it, I would not know or be close to many of the wonderful people that I get to “chat” with everyday.

10.   When I was having a bad day (again on Sunday) my dear middlest child passed by me trying to sing Bob Marley in his words, “Cuz’ everything’s gonna to be alright.” And it melted my heart because he was right.

Ok, your turn! Write them down. Put them where you can see them, post them to the world, share them with your family, but be honest with yourself! Then write at least one of those things here as a comment to this post. And there is an incentive, everyone who participates will get an original ink printing of my hand carved stamped image in the mail from me. YES, everyone! (just  participate and then send me your address via email: mylifewithmonkeys@gmail.com with the word blog in the title.) You have until July 10, 2011 at 7pm EST. So turn on some Bob Marley, pour something cold, and celebrate because this was the best week ever!

Happy Hour: Mint Lemonade

One of my favorite places to lunch in our little local town of Mons, Belgium was a French café and Bakery called Le Pain Quotidian. It was the only place that served good strong coffee. All their meals were organic and prepared fresh to order! Their usual fair included open face sandwiches called tartines, fabulous salads with a homemade vinaigrette and a basket full of fresh baked breads. And I always finished with one of their desserts! Come to find out, this cute Boulangerie is an international establishment with shops in New York, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., The Middle East, and of course all over Europe. But it got its start in Brussels. Now I am sharing with you “Limonade du Maison.” I adored this refreshing twist on lemonade so much I had to try it at home and who knew it could just be so simple!

Squeeze the juice from about a dozen lemons and a few limes, add one cup sugar, and 3 quarts water in a big gallon jug. Add ice and a few slightly bruised stalks of mint. Mix and serve in your favorite glass. Mason jars make me happy right now! Here are a few other things that made this week the best week ever:

• We had a spontaneous trip into DC for a visit with my brother-in-law, Sam. It was great to laugh and joke with him for an evening.
• The kids are out of school for the summer! (but I’m still trying to decide if this is going to be a good thing!)
  
• Mexican Food. Need I say more!?


• Perfect weather all week followed by much needed rain.


• A day off.


• This boy:

These are just a few things that made my week the best week ever. What made this your best week ever?

Tuesday's Traveler: The Storm

“It’s a shame I only made it to Paris four times…” I can’t believe those words came spilling out of my mouth. My good friend looked at me with “that” look and I shut it before I put my foot in any more. Right? Most people would kill to go even once, while I lived just over the border of France for nearly four years. It seemed common enough to me, yet I failed to tell the story. I may not be Elizabeth Gilbert, traveling solo through 3 countries in a year (at the publisher’s expense!) But I have had a “Pilgrim’s Heart” and have made a journey or two with a story to spare. So I say why not share? There’s always a discovery worth telling when one travels beyond the front gate….

In the South of France on the Mediterranean Sea there is a small town called Cassis…. seems like the logical place to begin would be Paris, but I’m not going to start with that story. I’m not even going to start with my move to Belgium. I’m going to tell you my high seas adventure. I wasn’t lost at sea, but there was a storm coming and it didn’t look good. I was traveling with my mom, the original “Pilgrim Heart,” to the center of where all good travel stories begin; Provence and the Cote D’Azur. We had a late start to the day and wanted to squeeze in time to see the Mediterranean before sunset. Specifically, we wanted to be out in the Mediterranean. Naturally we rented sea kayaks, signed no release forms, and were instructed with a typical “C’est La Vie” casual sunny, southern French attitude to be back before closing.

We began paddling into the blue. Into the waters that reached across the ocean to break on the beaches of Morocco and Spain and Tunis. We were in that sea; the one mentioned in history books and old movies, and now we were feeling part of something much bigger. Our eyes were set on a large cliff on the other side of the bay’s opening. We had plenty of time to reach our destination, enjoy the wonder of the moment and then make our way back to land before our time was up and the old boat owner was ready to close up shop. But we did not take into account that the heat and humidity was quickly turning into a raging thunderstorm; one that comes for a visit every summer afternoon. But when you are the visitor, the host looks daunting as you stare at it rolling over the foothills, into town, and assuming right out to sea; the very sea in which you were moments ago noting you were becoming one with.

Ah yes, my mother and I are risk takers, but not fools. Lightning and water don’t mix. And though we were given no formal warnings or wavers when we signed up to paddle our own boat, we were ready to haul it back to shore before the storm overtook us. At the time we thought we might have twenty minutes to make it back before the storm, but that meant some heavy rowing because it took more than twice that to get out to the point we were at. But we did just that. We paddled our little hearts all the way back to shore, breathless and exhilarated as we proudly hustled under the first big fat rain drops. Rushing past the topless women, finally pulling their things together as the rain splattered down around us all; laughing as we caught our breath and turned the corner to meet our robust and very bronzed shop owner. He shrugged and gave us that pouted lip, raised eyebrow French look and proclaimed, “But Madame, it is only a little rain. Why hurry so much?”

Why worry so much? Mom and I thought we had dodged a bullet, but it soon dawned on us that we were the only ones trying to get out of the storm. We made our way through the villa in the rivers of rain. Locals and tourist alike took shelter together and continued with their meals and shopping and long conversations. Gentlemen pulled out Champagne and a light supper and partook right there under the awning of their local business. Kids played in overflowing fountains. Life in Cassis did not stop for the rain. Life in Cassis just got started. And for us, the evening just got started, too, as we joined the crowds to eat and celebrate the moment. There is a good reason for the longevity associated with Mediterranean coastal living; every moment is tasted, savored, and enjoyed to the last drop even if the thunder is rolling in. 

Happy Hour, part 2

Happily domesticated, irreverent, retro-feminist dreamer;
Rebellious artist, mothering redheaded vikings.

I wrote my TEN last year in a challenge to my sister. I know there are many other words that describe me, but I think I will stick with my original...
In the most diplomatic way I could think of, I did the draw the old fashioned way and wrote names on paper, tossed them in the air and let the littlest child pick one up to discover our winner. AND this month is my Aunt Kathleen! I'll be visiting her soon, so I guess she knows how it will arrive on her doorstep! ;) But I have to tell you that am so pleased to have some very enthusiastic responses, excited to participate and wanting to own a little bit of something that I created. So, the rest of my lovely friends who already left their TEN, try again next month because I'm not done yet!!

Friday Happy Hour

What better way to greet Friday than to proclaim my love!  Despite all my serious posts, this is a house full of laughter and closeness. I have so much to be grateful for that I feel the need to start a new “Happy Hour” trend and share all the goodness once a week. Please join me, with or without a drink!

·         I had a margarita last night and laughed out loud. It felt good.

·         My living room is almost complete and it feels so comfortable. Even David commented that he liked the neutral panel grommet top curtains picked out. I love happy places in my own home!

·         I talked with my sister for a long time on Monday. It’s becoming a regular thing again and I realize that if we aren’t always in touch, then something is missing. It feels good to connect, even on opposite sides of the country.

·         My body remembers how to run. I am so thankful that I have the physical strength to move and get out and go, despite all the aches and pains that want to creep up on me as I add the years on to the old machine. Just keep it moving along or it’s going quit on you!

·         I got lots of hugs and kisses this week because I gave lots of hugs and kisses this week. Redheaded boys fill me up like nothing else in the world can do!

·         Have you been to Etsy.com lately? It’s inspiring and I want to make things. I am making things. You will see…

These are just a few things that made my week the best week ever. What made this your best week ever?

{Important Note: Ten to the Tenth is over when Happy Hour is over tonight at 7pm EST. If you haven’t had a chance to post your ten words that describe you, then go back to this post and comment now before it’s too late! I will post my TEN at that time and draw a random participant to win an original piece of art by me! Yup, I’m putting it all on the line for you! Let’s do this thing!}

Sunday Confessional

From my Facebook status on March 2011:    “I have really bad days, weeks sometimes. I am unmotivated, I yell at my children, I say the F-word all. the. time. I get into fights with my husband, I have credit card debt - again, I let my kids watch too much TV and play violent video games, I obsess about getting cancer, I can't stop interrupting people, I pass judgment on the people I love the most, I spend time on the internet instead of being productive, I eat too much junk food, I say I'm going to paint, but I keep making excuses, and last week I almost ran away from home....but instead I made a joke about joining the circus. Do you really know who anyone is just by reading their posts!?” 

It's Sunday Confession and I admit I am being far too open about it. I confess that I am too quick to proclaim my great ambitions, yet slow on the follow through. I confess that I am still intimidated by a blank canvass and scrapbooking is a comfortable place to be. I confess that I am still guilty of the internet time suck. I confess that I make inspirational moments sound so much easier when I write than I can actually pull off in my daily routine. I confess that at some point I will blog about the tedious day-to-day and what my kids are doing despite stating this was not the blog for that. I confess that I love knowing people are reading what I have to say because I like “putting on a show,” in words of course.  

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."  I believe that identifying who you really are also means looking at your flaws. Maybe it’s not necessary to leave my dirty laundry airing for the public to see, but it’s freeing in a way I can not describe. We are not perfect people. I hope that for a brief moment, someone out in the cyber world reads my words and sighs in relief knowing they are not alone in the pitfalls of this human life. For those who keep it bottled up and buried at the bottom of the sock drawer, I suggest you start by being honest with yourself about who you are and where you are in life. Then turn to the people that are closest to you and do the hardest thing; admit your faults. You won’t melt, and it truly does matter. Follow by letting it go, because there is no place for guilt. Change the action or change the belief.

So, there you have it: My Sunday Confessional. You don’t have to confess anything! But you only have five days until the tenth….so leave your list of ten on my last post before it’s too late! (Oh for heavens sake! If I can admit all that I have, it makes your part easy as pie!) One more thing before it’s too late – gratuitous pictures of the people that matter most to me:

"Can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love? As well as your folly and can you kneel before the king and say ‘I’m clean’" - Mumford and Sons, White Blank Page

Go Find Yourself!

This is not the kind of blog that details my daily routine. The one that tells you what my kids have been up to lately. Not going to tell you the details of potty training or how the garden is growing. Or the new haircut or how far I jogged yesterday in sweat and tears. Typically, this is not that blog. Somehow from the beginning I have found myself on the track of trying to find the little truths in everyday life.  It’s those moments of clarity; those bits of reality that are evidence I am still thinking for myself.

And tell me, please, if we are not all trying to sort through the daily muck to see if we are still in there thinking for ourselves! Strip down the titles and duties and shoulds and shouldn’ts….what do you have left of yourself? And how can you give back to the world and all the people you love, if you don’t really know? If you don’t have something left of yourself at the end of the day, how are you going to get up and do it all again tomorrow?

Maybe I hesitate to post my ideas sometimes because I’m not sure if I am saying the right thing at the right time to the right people, but I know deep down I have something to say or I wouldn’t have written a hundred blogs in my mind already. I have pondered very serious issues and delightful, if not crazy insights, I’ve thought of stories of my childhood and dreams of my future, and more creative ideas than I have time to do….all without writing a word! All without saying that I, too, am searching for my own personal integrity in the things I do, the words I say and the intentions I put into the world every day.

Because I believe our humanity is at stake, and because I need to refocus my creativity where it counts; I have a new plan for this blog! If you follow me you will begin to see regularly scheduled posts that will motivate me to reach out to you and hopefully motivate you to give something back as well. You could call it a give and take, interactive blog that might have everyone thinking outside the monkey box before long!

So, I start now with my first regularly scheduled blog post that I call TEN BEFORE THE TENTH. On the first of the month I will post a challenge and anyone who wishes to participate can post their reply in the comments column before the 10^th of the month. To help encourage people to play along and motivate me to create I will draw a comment at random and send an original piece of art (yes, by yours truly!) as a gift for participating. I know, that’s a big commitment from me but I guess I’m serious this time! Anyone can join in and I encourage you to spread the word around to get this thing moving along! OK!?

Here you go for June’s challenge:

Describe yourself in TEN words.

Come on, I DARE you to get real and get creative! Tell me who you are!

Yup, Just that simple, and I will post my answer for you on the tenth!

The Time Sucker

Otherwise known as the internet. Facebook, Studio Calico, Etsy, Amazon, Pinterest, The Weather Channel. They have all been stealing away the extra minutes of my day. That is where the hours have gone that I could have been writing, painting, gardening, exercising, and in so many ways, just doing something productive. Heck, I could have mastered bread baking or quantum physics by now! The World Wide Web is a powerful tool when used right, but I can’t tell you how many times I have sat down to “just check one thing” and then two hours of my life is swept under the rug just like that. Poof! And I wish for more hours in the day, but really I just need to USE the time that has been given to me in the first place. Oh, sure I could blame my lack of creative accomplishment on raising three rowdy boys (and really I should), but the truth is that if I only took that extra hour in the day by the reigns I could be doing those few little things I dream of doing…

And honestly, I have no shortage of ideas. In fact it’s shameful that I have so many (good) ideas and they just go to waste like the bananas on my counter. It’s not too late to make bread, right? So I will tell you now, I have at least a half dozen blog entries begun.  I have pages of notes for paintings, illustrations and assemblage art projects. I have the characters in stories all worked out. I know exactly how I could pull together family members in an amazing creative venture and come out on top. I have another couple of great new blogs I think about starting…… but I can’t maintain the one I have so what’s the point really…..

The point is that an acquaintance, someone I have only met a couple times really, told me she reads my blog and was wondering when I would be posting again. It was December the last time, after all. And she noticed I was painting and wondered how it was going. (Did I brag about jumping into art and writing about it, because it’s a shame really!) There you have it, people are reading what I write and asking me to say more. And I have A LOT more to say, I am never without a story or an opinion to share.

SO, is it really the internet surfing holding me back? Or is it a convenient excuse to waste away my valuable time and not get going on what I am probably too intimidated to be doing? It’s easy to doubt myself. Easy to doubt my commitment. Easy to doubt the value of what I do in a population of 7 billion people. Easy to be intimidated by those who have been professionally trained and know what they are talking about. Easy to feel overwhelmed by the daily tasks at hand so much so that adding one more thing to the fire might make it all melt into a heap. Easy to wonder at what point will I accept that the process of creating and sharing is success in itself?

I did a quick (one hour) pastel of a photo from a trip I took to Provence years ago. I did it on a whim because I knew I wasn't doing what I promised myself to do, and I felt better for it, and then worse because I know I should keep doing it until I really build the skills I want to create the paintings that I dream about doing.

I think it’s time to close out my internet browser and start my own creative revolution. What do you think, are you in with me?  (posting a reply would be very helpful right about now!)

Christmas Magic

Once upon a time, a long time ago….a little girl I once knew, easily believed in the magic of Christmas. She knew September meant school and October was for costumes, followed by November for a grand feast with relatives she rarely saw but loved quite dearly. Then some time later, in December, Christmas began to happen all around her. Lights went up on the block, the whole family piled in the big brown van in search of a fresh tree, perfect tissue art ornaments were made in school, and grand church events were attended. The magic of the season continued without effort at all! Favorite Christmas music was played in the home, caramel corn tempted little fingers, and even handmade cards complete with children’s handprints were finished and sent out on time! Best of all was Dad dressing as Santa and all of us secretly delivering gifts to a family in need. Oh how she loved this time of year more than anything. All that good Christmas spirit filled her with excitement and anticipation.

But then the years passed on and she grew up. She never grew tired of loving Christmas, but there is no doubt the sparkle began to fade. She got married and had children and her love and joy grew and grew. But quite at the same time, the magic she once knew was harder and harder to find.

Now don’t get me wrong, she anticipated the season with great gusto and big plans. She would say to herself in October (and sometimes July,) “It will all get done, I swear! The lights and the cookies and every last handmade gift! I will fill the stockings with just the right thing…you’ll see!” And then the great holiday kick-off feast (also known as Thanksgiving) would come and go and the reality would simply sink into the little girl-at-heart. For all the making and baking in the world would not recapture the magic as she once knew. It’s not that she didn’t try. She tried it different every year as a matter of fact! Some years too much, some years scaled back, some years giving and some just a bit reserved. But that simple magic, well, it was just a tad bit out of her reach.

But then one year (one quite recent in fact!) a light went on as she was trimming the tree. Harry for the Holidays and baked apple pie candle warmed up her home. Her beautiful, wonderful, happy new home and she looked and she saw three boys eyes lit up with the Magic of Christmas! “But of course!” she thought to herself and silently thanked her mom and dad for the years they put in to making Christmas seem effortless and allowing their little ones to feel the MAGIC without a to-do list worry or care in the world!

And THAT is the story of how I came to understand the reason why I look forward to this time of year so much and yet inevitably find myself overwhelmed anyway. I will always be searching for that simple Christmas magic and in the process, hopefully be creating it for the ones who matter to me most. Merry Christmas boys! (and thank-you so much Mom and Dad for the very best memories of Christmas!)

Christmas 2009